Rushing through a post breakup recovery is no good.
Take your time. Think. Look around.
I'm not chasing the first woman who would grant me access to her body, although it would be hard to say no to that. But, seriously, I need to heal, as rationally as I can. I need to heal.
But first I have to acknowledge my own feelings. Almost 16 years... and it wasn't just the time together but the intensity, a whole array of experiences we shared together. Sex was always extraordinary, always. And there was always affection, intimacy, complicity, sense of humor, shared reflections, thoughts, intuitions. But all that remains in the past, JB is part of history.
Now, now... I don't know.
Altered perception (illusions, delusions) triggered by cannabis and/or steroids? It is possible. The rest I don't know, I shouldn't even be spending time thinking of my ex. My ex, ex, ex.... she's gone. She's not my problem, she's not my concern, damn it!
There is no anger in me. I wish there was.
I wish I were angry at her. It would make things much easier. But I'm not, I tried but I couldn't.
I decided to end all contact with her, more than a month ago and there were a few unforced errors on my end. But wtf... human beings make mistakes. We're only human, even if it sounds like an overused cliche.
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