Addiction

Maybe my ex was just an addiction and I became an addict to her words and flesh.

"Eres el mejor amante del mundo", she would often say.  And she was sincere.

That was in another era, another time.

That used to happen until not too long, after an earthquake  split our world into obscene chunks of shattered reality.

Do I want to be with a woman who disrespects me, a woman in her late 50s who disrespects herself by acting like a teenage brat on the one hand, sometimes playing the merry widow, an unhinged, misguided cougar with a thirst for who knows what, and on the other hand spits out her resentment against men in general and any specific man who becomes the target of her intense, longtime bottled up anger/hatred? Do I? My left side of the brain's vote is an unqualified NO.

I finally got tired
                   tired of
her
    paranoia
      her mistrust
        blaming it all on others
false allegations of violence
false allegations of anger (projection)
feelings of omnipotence

Someone who needs drugs
and money to pretend to be assertive
someone who has very little self-esteem
and needs all her money paraphernalia
and drugs
                to spit on whoever is not part of her clan
                deep down I am deeply sorry for her
But I need to protect myself

Someone who says "I moved on" over and over
is masking her own insecurity.
If you moved on, you wouldn't even think of me
                         Who do you think you're kidding?

I hope you don't believe I was interested in having a piece of that money.
You're gonna have lots of new acquaintances who will want to be acquainted with your money, probably more than being acquainted with you.  And they will come back for more money, they always come back for more.
Hold on to your money, ex
              you're gonna need it.